Twilight AIM
by sweetlittleroses
Summary: All of your favorite characters - and least favorite but they will die! - of Twilight on computers talking about... stuff. Puberty, Edward's problem, Bella trying to kill people that piss her off... Rated T for language because... because I said so!
1. Be Mature

**Disclaimer: I do not own the **_**Twilight**_** series or AIM…. and some of the usernames I actually stole from the internet (and my sister) –Gasp-**

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**AIM Usernames**

**ChillBells** – Bella

**Cullenluv –**Esme

**yermom1013** – Emmett

**Doctordude** – Carlisle

**iloveawkward – **Jasper

**gaymensparkle** – Edward (Before you freak out it's a little joke that will probably only last through this chapter. Also before any accusations… Emmett made me do it!)

**littlecutie20 – **Alice

**blondbeauty – **Rosalie

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**ChillBells has entered the chat room**

**gaymensparkle has entered the chat room**

**yermom1013 has entered the chat room**

**ChillBells – **Umm, is there something you're not telling me Edward?

**gaymensparkle – **What do you mean – OH MY CARLSILE! Emmett what did you do?!

**yermom1013 – **It's okay Edward. We all accept your problem. Bella have you ever thought about dating Mike Newton?

**ChillBells – **Well, occasionally… I mean, if Edward is gay, a threesome…

**gaymensparkle – **I'M NOT GAY!

**yermom1013 – **Screen names don't lie Edward. They don't lie.

**gaymensparkle – **Emmett hacked my account and changed my screen name!

**yermom1013 – **Umm…… YER MOM

**gaymensparkle – **Very mature Emmett

**ChillBells – **Look who's talking…..

**gaymensparkle – **What's that supposed to mean?

**iloveawkward has entered the chat room**

**ChillBells – **Well, come on. You're throwing a huge fit because someone called you gay

**yermom1013 - **-cough- Cause he is –cough-

**iloveawkward – **Edward's gay? Huh, should've seen that coming

**gaymensparkle – **JASPER! Leave!

**iloveawkward – **But this is so awkward… I love awkward. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling

**yermom1013 **– I get that feeling when I pee in my pants

**gaymensparkle – **You pee your pants! Ha! That's worse than being gay! Not that I am…

**yermom1013 – **I-I th-thought you w-w-would be supportive Edward –begins to cry-

**iloveawkward – **NO!! That fuzzy feeling was replaced with some crap! Dammit Edward!

**ChillBells – **Edward!

**gaymensparkle- **B-but he called me gay! If I had a huge fit you wouldn't have punished him!

**ChillBells – **That's because he's an idiot and doesn't know any better!

**yermom1013 - **-sniff- Yeah!

**iloveawkward- **Yeah!

**yermom1013 – **Why are you so afraid to love me Edward?

**gaymensparkle - ** BECAUSE I'M NOT GAY!

**gaymensparkle is away**

**ChillBells – **Oh I am so closing the window on his hand tonight

**iloveawkward – **You go girl!

**ChillBells – **Edward! Come back!

**Auto Response from gaymensparkle: Go to hell Bella**

**ChillBells – **Edward Anthony Mason Cullen you are going to _wish _you were gay when I'm done with you tonight!

**iloveawkward – **Should I quote you on that?

**ChillBells – **Yes, yes you should.

**ChillBells is away**

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**A/N: Edward's in trouble!! To al you men out there, DO NOT PISS YOUR GIRLFRIEND OFF! Bad things happen. Bad, bad things. Review if you want me to continue, I might let Edward survive the night unscathed. Ooh unscathed that's a big word! I finished Breaking Dawn and it is so awesome! The first chapters alone were totally unexpected. I mean, that thing keeps me off drugs! Also I like making the gray line thingies :)  
**


	2. Power Puff Girls

**Disclaimer: I do not own the **_**Twilight**_** series or AIM and how I wish I owned Edward Cullen, but I don't. Why world why? And whenever I think of people 'owning' someone I think of BDSM…. I blame my perverted-ness from the forums on Gaia! People keep trying to rape me!**

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**iloveawkward has entered the chat room**

**gaymensparkle has entered the chat room**

**littlecutie20 has entered the chat room**

**iloveawkward – **Edward… what happened last night?

**gaymensparkle - **-sniff- My 110 years of virginism is down the drain! AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO CHANGE MY USERNAME! I DON'T WANT TO BE GAY ANYMORE!!

**littlecutie20 **– _Bella _did that? Sweet lovable Bella?

**iloveawkward – **You've gone 110 years without sex? I think I've found you're talent

**gaymensparkle – **shut up

**ChillBells has entered the chat room**

**gaymensparkle - **AH! The monster is here!

**ChillBells – **Emmett's here?

**gaymensparkle – **No! You!

**ChillBells - **-rolls eyes- Aww come on. Last night wasn't that bad

**gaymensparkle – **In some countries that's consider rape!

**ChillBells – **It's considered rape here…

**littlecutie20 – **What did you do?

**ChillBells - **-mischievous grin –

**gaymensparkle – **I'm calling the police on you Bella!

**ChillBells- **Police? As in my dad? IF you tell him I raped you he'll shoot you in the head!

**gaymensparkle – **But _you _did it to _me_

**ChillBells – **Yes, but in the big picture he hates you already, and in the end it doesn't matter.

**littlecutie20 – **Bella, I need to take lessons from you

**iloveawkward – **NO!!

**littlecutie20 – **Where's your masculinity? Men love sex. It's the only think they think about!

**ChillBells – **See? This is exactly why Emmett wears the pants in the house

**gaymensparkle - ** I wear pants…..

**ChillBells – **Last night you didn't

**littlecutie20 – **XD I'm sooo going over to your house Bella!

**ChillBells – **Grab your notebook, and if you want hands on you can drag Edward and Jasper over here

**gaymensparkle is away**

**ChillBells – **Edward get back on I was joking

**gaymensparkle has entered the chat room**

**yermom1013 has entered the chat room**

**littlecutie20 –** What were you doing Emmett

**gaymensparkle1013 – **Hugging his unicorn

**yermom1013 - **It's not a unicorn, it's a horse with a sword on its head that protects my hopes and dreams.

**gaymensparkle – **And _I'm_ the gay one? How does that wok?

**ChillBells- **He stole that from Scrubs!

**littlecutie20 – **plagiarist

**iloveawkward – **Not to change the subject or anything… but are you guys going to Mike's party?

**ChillBells – **The superhero one? Yeah, don't know who I'm going to be though

**yermom1013 – **I'm going as Hannah Montana

**ChillBells – **You have got to be kidding. She's not even a superhero

**yermom1013 – **Yes she is! She saves people from themselves.

**littlecutie20 – **And her clothes awesome

**yermom1013- **Did you see the skirt I bought?

**ChillBells- **Skirt?

**gaymensparkle – **Now who wears the pants?

**littlecutie20 – **OMG! The one with sparkles?

**yermom1013 – **Hell yea!

**ChillBells – **Edward, your pants can't even stay on!

**gaymensparkle – **Oh god Bella please stop bringing last night up. I'm going to have nightmares.

**iloveawkward – **Wait! Emmett I thought me you and Edward were going as the Power Puff Girls!

**yermom1013 – **Blossom!

**iloveawkward –**Bubbles!

**gaymensparkle - **……

**yermom1013 - **-whispers- Edward say the line

**gaymensparkle – **Never! I must preserve the last bits of the masculinity I have left!

**ChillBells – **Edward, I hate to break this to you, but…..

**gaymensparkle - ** -sigh- and Buttercup

**yermom1013 – **YAY!

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**A/N: I love the little unicorn tidbit from Emmett : ) Poor Edward, no matter where he turns on fanfiction he's called gay, and Bella's torturing him…. –smiles wickedly- Anyway, my brother went to a superhero party as Hannah Montana so I had to add this. It was very creepy. Anyway, don't worry I'm not going to give away any Breaking Dawn spoilers so you all can uncover your eyes. And for those of you that went to a midnight party I hope you had fun a stalked lots of Edward Cullen impersonators. I know I did. Well, actually there was only one that I really stalked and that's 'cause he looked a lot like Edward Cullen. And he threatened to throw a yoga ball at people. It was awesome! And I'm sorry for those of you that have to wait longer till Breaking Dawn comes out; I know it's a pain. **


	3. Bleh

**Disclaimer: Me: Can I have Twilight?**

**SM: No**

**Me: What about Edward?**

**SM: He's not real….**

**Me: Doesn't hurt to try.**

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**ChillBells has entered the chat room**

**gaymensparkle has entered the chat room**

**Cullenluv has entered the chat room**

**yermom1013 has entered the chat room**

**littlecutie20 has entered the chat room**

**yermom1013:** Hey Bella guess what Edward did?

**gaymensparkle**: Emmett don't

**ChillBells: **-narrows eyes- What did he do Emmett?

**yermom1013**: Me and Edward made out!

**ChillBells:** O-O WHAT?! Edward I thought you loved me!

**littlecutie20: **Or at the very least was strait

**Cullenluv:** I'm sorry Bella. We should have known

**ChillBells**: MY WHOLE LIFE'S A LIE!

**gaymensparkle:** Well doesn't that make Emmett gay too? And I'm not gay! Bella I love you!!

**ChillBells**: TT Do I look like a man to you Edward?

**gaymensparkle:** Yes! I mean no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!!

**ChillBells:** Edward Cullen this is so gay! I mean over! Whatever!! What does Emmett have that I don't?

**lit****tlecutie20:** Male reproductive organs?

**Cullenluv:** I'm going to leave now….

**Cullenluv is now away**

**littlecutie20:** Meh too

**littlecutie20 is now away**

**gaymensparkle:** I'm not gay Bella

**ChillBells:** Says the gay person

**yermom1013: **Face it Bella, you just don't fulfill his needs.

**ChillBells is now away**

**gaymensparkle: **…….. I hate you

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**A/N: Sorry for not updating. Seriously I am. Sorry if it sucks too, I just needed to update. Review if you hated or if you liked doesn't matter.**


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